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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Back to Jersey....

So, I'm circling the same city block for the 10th time with Bethany in the passenger seat. We're on the lookout for our sorority sisters, who said they would be meeting us at this specific corner. Mind you, it's a blizzard out and I'm stoked to be using the four wheel drive on my new Jeep Grand Cherokee. While driving, I'm careful to avoid hitting any members of the snowball fights that have broken out, randomly, in the middle of the streets.

Finally, after the 15th lap, Bethany informs me of the desperate urinary situation of which she's placed on hold for the past half hour. Because nothing at the moment is visible, I pulled onto a side street and flipped my hazards on as Bethany informs me she'll be relieving herself somewhere in the outdoor vicinity.

Did I mention the inebriation levels are skyrocketing for everyone involved in this story, BUT ME!?!? Consider this your notice.

So I lose site of Bethany entirely until some asshole with blinding headlights begins driving up the road behind me. As the car approaches I look to my right and realize Bethany has chosen the conveniently exposed stoop of a brownstone on which to release her bladder. I was so proud...but now was not the time to praise; I rolled down the window and told Bethany to get her ass back in the car.

Thankfully, the eleviated bladder pressure must have sobered her up some, because I didn't need to scream twice for her to pull up her pants and hop the hell back in the Jeep. Finally, I get a call on my cell from Gabby, one of the two sisters we've been searching for, and she informs me they are on the corner of such and such a street. So I respond by saying, " Don't Move! Look out for a silver Jeep, I'll be there in 2 minutes."

I pull up to the corner and both Bethany and I spot Gabby and Keira on the corner, but for some reason they're walking away from my car.....?? I watch them in my rear view and see them hop into a silver Jeep Grand Cherokee DIRECTLY BEHIND ME!

Before I can tell Bethany what I just witnessed, Gabby and Keira FLY out of the Jeep behind me and head for the correct one. Gabby is the first to enter the backseat of my Jeep and she looks shocked and completely disconnected from who and where she is.

As she proceeds to tell me and Bethany that they had hopped into a silver Jeep packed with strangers and how she thought Bethany and I had been carjacked, Keira is entering the backseat directly behind Gabby. But before she can get inside the Jeep, she's nailed in the head by a snowball from another random fight that's broken out in the street!

And I'm watching all of this, completely sober and trying to record with my eyes the expressions on each of their tipsy little faces, and I laughed inside all the way home to Jersey...

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