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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I’m Allergic....

How do you know when it's for real? Like "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, where the hell have you been hiding my entire life" real? Stop, drop and roll people, my heart is officially aflame.

I know it's for real when I can relax - truly relax in the prescence of another. It's rare for me to let down my walls, release the bridges and call the alligators out of the moat for the chance to let someone in for an emotional rendevous. Who knows how long he'll stay and whether he's worth it to begin with.

In honor of girls chasing love all around the world, including you Jessica Simpson, "The real me is a Jersey Girl with her stilettos on and an open heart; wish I could save the world, like I was Captain Morgan..."

I know it's for real when I can say anything that flies out of my crazy ass, compound swearing, vocabulary conscious and grammatically correct, (might I add), mouth and know he'll be there to laugh or listen or, more importantly, catch me before I hit my head on the toilet seat during my homage to the porcelain gods. I want someone who can handle the sting, as at times my words have been known to bite...and then turn around and dish it back out. I'm in search of a man who can express his own thoughts, ideas and opinions as seamlessy as myself.

Are we looking for our equivalents or opposites?

According to the astrological chart my exact opposite sign as an Aquarius is a Leo. If opposites attract, does this make my opposite my equivalent? Aquarians are air signs represented by the Water Bearer. They seek to spread knowledge and truth, are often emotionally detached and objective and focus their efforts on the masses. Leos are fire signs represented by the Lion. They are passionate, outgoing and natural leaders, focusing their efforts on themselves. There are many differences, but as I look closer I see these differences could be complimentary in the right relationship. An interesting footnote: Air fuels Fire.

With my information in hand, I now set out in the world with the skill of an African Lion Poacher in search of my perfect prey. Don't worry, if you see me on the street it's just a tranquilizer gun - I want to catch him, not kill him.

We can research, prepare, lock and load all we want, but when it comes down to it....how do we know when it's for real? When he's the only one you hear in a crowded stadium? When he's the only one you see in a dimly lit club, and not just because there's a blacklight and he's graying a bit.

I know it's for real because an LP named Donna Marie told me so....I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry...you may kiss the rabbit....

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