Go E-ZPass

2011-01-19T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hi all - I am competing in Dancing with the Knoxville Stars - The charity benefits East TN Children's Hospital - Please help me! Each dollar counts as one vote! http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jamielynndrohan/dwtks

To Serve and Protect...

2011-01-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in quite some time, but I am compelled to this afternoon after learning of terrible news from my home state. A New Jersey police officer was killed execution style while on the job yesterday. He was just 27 years old. He had a fiance and a family that loved him. He never had a chance to defend himself.
It happened during a routine question/answer - the officer pulled over his car to talk to a pedestrian - there was nothing hostile about the situation. Within moments, the pedestrian pulled out a gun and shot the officer three times.
How does something like this happen? Who is this shooter? What made him the way he is? How did he slip through the cracks? Do people blame his parents, his teachers? Or is there no excuse at all?
Where has the respect gone for those who are in uniform? It shouldn't matter whether one serves our country overseas in Iraq or right here in our neighborhood patrolling the streets... they are performing a duty and that is to serve and protect. That deserves our respect.
The Chief of Police in Lakewood, NJ says the young officer was "the best of us" and "had a bright future".
The prosecutor working on the case is a former judge. I have interviewed her several times. She is a lovely woman, but I can tell you this, she is not a woman you want to meet while sitting at the opposing table in a court room.
I have many friends who are now police officers in NJ. It's not an easy job. They risk their lives everyday. i know their Moms too and trust me, they worry like no other. They tell me they do it because they feel it is their calling in life to serve and protect.
My thoughts and prayers today are with the fiance and family of this officer, who are left to mourn the loss of what could have been...

Brian Overholt Demo Reel

2010-11-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

Sebastian is mad cuz mommy went on vaca w/out him on Twitpic

2010-08-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sebastian is mad cuz mommy went on vaca w/out him on Twitpic

Veterans families can apply for free medallions for grave markers

2010-08-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

Veterans families can apply for free medallions for grave markers

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Hurry Up and WATE....

2009-12-30T07:11:00.000-08:00

Hurry Up and Wait...

She had 'it all'...fantastic friends, check...fabulous career, check...phenomenal shoe collection, whirlwind love affairs, check and check.

She was an inspiration. We Manoloed through six seasons of her joys and heartaches. We related to her, cheered her on, because...in a way....we are her. And we'll never forget the moment when John James Preston turned to Carrie Bradshaw and sealed the deal on her fairy tale ending with three words: "I got it".

I must admit I find myself struggling from time to time on what 'it' is all about. Not long ago, I was engaged to be married to a wonderful man...a USMC Devil Dog through and through. He was the Prince Charming my inner 6 year old imagined would one day whisk me away in a hot air balloon and ask me to be his Princess. Fast forward 20 years later and I'm asking my Sister turned Maid of Honor, "Is this 'it' ", as I sat on her bed stressing over the bridal fittings that deep down I didn't want to attend. Am I in the midst of "it all"? She couldn't answer the questions for me, and at the time, I couldn't answer them for myself. I ultimately decided it was in our best interest to call off the wedding. I found myself at the crossroad of "heartache" and "how could you?". My Dad's favorite saying is, "Tough times don't last forever, tough people do". When times get tough, I fall back on what I know...work. Nose, allow me to introduce the Grindstone...I believe you two have met before.

Coincidentally, another proposal of sorts came to me by way of an NBC affiliate in Washington state. In place of a diamond, they offered Morning Anchor. A sweet title and, ultimately, my end goal on either coast. But, like the first proposal, something just wasn't right. Again, I mulled over the decision with the help of family and friends. In the end, one of the most valuable lessons a reporter can learn is to rely on and trust their gut....and mine was cramping. I thanked the News Director for the offer with the gut intuition that something better was on it's way.

I find strength when I surround myself with thriving individuals of like mind. In my career as a journalist, I've been fortunate enough to interview some amazing women who have discovered the path to 'it all'. Three, in particular, have left me "Carrie'd" away.

Recently, I met up with Emmy award-winning television Host and Producer, Amy Palmer. I got wind she was launching a new network, PowerWomenTV, and I just had to know more. We met the only way two women wrapped in Diane VonFurstenburg can; at lunch time in a lovely little restaurant in Manhattan. Similar to me, Amy began her career in local television. I'd always admired her work and, in my head, I'd decided we were friends. It's true that people look much different in life than they do on the television in your living room. In Amy's case, she was even lovelier in person. We discussed her humble beginnings in local television as both host, producer and often times, creator, of her own televison programs. A true go-getter, Amy built her career from the bottom up. I asked her how PowerWomenTV came about, and was surprised to learn my "friend" and I had more in common than I'd imagined.

Amy's goal is to highlight women who are breaking through the glass ceiling and forging new paths to success. She has taken her skills as producer, editor, and reporter and is shining the spotlight on real role models...real power women. I have to say, my favorite thing about Amy is that the word "No" doesn't stop her from reaching her final cut. She spent years gathering articles on inspiring women until finally, she had a filing cabinet packed with enough stories that the word "No" became irrelevant. Amy followed her gut and decided if this project was going to get off the ground, she was going to have to strap on her stilettos and lift it as high as her platforms would allow. She grabbed her favorite cameraman and a web designer who understood her vision. PowerWomenTV.com was born! You can look forward to Amy's inspirational blogs on Huffington Post and video from PowerWomenTV.com in the Winter of 2009. I asked Amy what is it like to have 'it all' and she responded, "Listen to your voice, your voice will lead you to your most authentic self. In documenting the lives and success of these PowerWomen, I learn more about myself and who I am everyday."

Another journalistic venture with a PowerWomen in every sense of word leads me to Philadelphia...home of "It's Your Call with Lynn Doyle". Lynn Doyle is a multi-award winning, ten-time emmy recipient and an inspiration to any woman in the biz. She too, began her career in local tv. She is also a wife, mother of two and a grandmother to twins. I figured, who better to ask about the fine balance of work and family. Lynn's response will stay with me a lifetime. "The term 'having it all' has to be self-defined. Find what works for you. And it doesn't mean this is it for the rest of your life, your children grow up, other jobs become available...you grow." She went on to say, "I think people are so afraid they may be pigeon-holed into one particular role...you have to realize there's a whole big life out there ahead of you. Find what works...you evolve and 'it' evolves."

It doesn't take a reporter to know the real story is in the details. Well, perhaps there are a few details I've held out on. First, in March of 2009 I got a tiny tattoo on my wrist. I never told anyone, but I've always wanted a small nautical star. I love the meaning behind it and the idea that you can always find your way home. A few days ago I met up with the Marine for cocktails and I was going on and on telling him about my new tattoo. I was rendered speechless when he pulled up his shirt to show me a larger nautical star tattooed right above his heart. What's even more shocking is, he too, had the tattoo done in March, only on a different hemisphere during one of his travels. Coincidence or Fate...I'll let you be the judge.

As I right this article, to the left of my computer sits my airline and hotel confirmation from the ABC affiliate in Knoxville. Evidently, my gut was right and just a half hour after I turned down the gig with NBC in Washington, my new job came a Knoxin'. This time the contract was right, the market was bigger and my gut tells me this could be a great place to make a splash in hard news. I leave one week from today to visit with the News Director and Anchors and tour the station. In other news, it seems the military's favorite expression, "Hurry up and wait", is in full effect. Turns out, the Marine received orders and he will be leaving for a year long tour of duty to Iraq. More importantly, his deployment date is the very same day I will, for the first time, step foot in a WATE-TV studio. Again, I ask you....Coincidence or Fate?

Where my star may lead me, who knows? Aside from our careers in television, Lynn, Amy and I all hold one thing in common. We consider our Moms to be our greatest role models. Each in different ways, but nonetheless, the most powerful women we know.

My mom may not be a television producer, nor does she start her day in hair and makeup or carry around a Blackberry filled the "who's who". My mom left her career as a Medical Assistant for 15 years to "Produce" our household. She is now back at work in the medical field, managing or, "producing", a Dr.'s office in West Orange. We just celebrated her 50th birthday. She is a daughter and sister for 50 years, a wife for 31, a medical assistant for 29, a mom for 27 and a PowerWoman through and through...

My Mom is a woman of many layers and, perhaps, what I am to learn from her is meant to be discovered later in life. Mom possesses the ability to work in a career she is passionate about, raise her family and recognize, attain and retain a remarkable man for over 30 years. No doubt about it, she found 'it all' and gave it her all. Hopefully, pray tell, she intends to teach her first born this essential lesson in life and love. Until that class opens up for the semester, I'll sharpen my pencil...hurry up...and WATE....

My Column Debut =)

2009-09-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, my friends! My column debuts in HQ Magazine this week and for those of you not in NJ - I've entered it below:

Leave me your thoughts...I'm so excited this is happening - so many great things on the horizon =)

Thank you for reading xoxo

HQ Magazine
"Is This Thing On?...My Life as a TV Host"
Jamie Lynn Drohan

NOTHIN’ BUT NET

Lights, camera, New Jersey! The New Jersey Hall of Fame was created to honor the men and women who have made significant contributions to the state of New Jersey and the world beyond. The 2009 event took place on May 3rd at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center in Newark, New Jersey. A proud Jersey Girl myself, it is always an honor to interview and spotlight a fellow Jersey Girl or Boy who has gone on to great success and achievement. This was my second year covering the red carpet ceremony and I felt fairly confident with my goals for the evening. My assignment was to host and produce some fabulous red carpet coverage to air on CNN Headline News and Comcast Cable On Demand.

Early bird that I am, I secured the top spot on the carpet. Not that it really matters because, generally, you can get an interview regardless of your carpet placement. Hey, some people suffer from "Napoleon syndrome"; I have a "carpet complex". I'm working on it, cross my stillettos and hope to die. Despite the rainy weather, I was determined to "sprinkle a little Jersey" on the red runway and, to my surprise, it wasn't just the shutterbugs that hit the carpet. As Don Jay Smith, Executive Producer of the New Jersey Hall of Fame had promised, the evening had a star-studded lineup. The organization inducts New Jersey natives from all walks of life and breaks the nominees down into five categories: Historical, Enterprise, Arts & Entertainment, Sports and General.

I had the chance to interview entertainment giants such as acclaimed talk show host, Montel Williams, Star Trek alumni turned Rutgers professor, Avery Brooks, Sopranos actor, Vincent Pastore, moonwalker, Buzz Aldrin and his best friend and Yankee legend, Yogi Berra.

Pop singer and Newark, NJ native, Kat DeLuna got the party started by performing her hit song, Whine Up and we were Havin’ A Party as Southside Johnny rocked the house with a little help from his longtime buddy, Bon Jovi.

Yes, Jon Bon Jovi is just as handsome in real life as he is in his music videos and on the big screen. This particular Hall of Fame Inductee did not walk the red carpet. This was a total bummer, as I was all ready to hit him up with my first and, admittedly, cheesy question, "Who says you can't go home?" Despite having my red carpet hopes dashed, he did give a great acceptance speech on what it means to be from "Jersey". As he put it, it's the only state where someone will refer to another person by saying, "Hey, Jersey!" You never hear, "Hey, Connecticut!” or, "Hey, North Carolina!” Nope, that's only reserved for Jersey folk. He also made note that since New Jersey is smack dab between NYC and Philly, those from the Garden State have no choice but to cast a "very large shadow".

After listening to Bon Jovi, I began preparing for an interview with another inductee who happens to cast a very large shadow, both figuratively and literally: New Jersey’s best-known scholar-athlete, Bill Bradley. He was a three-time All-American basketball player at Princeton University and 1965 National Player of the Year. Graduating with honors, Bradley was awarded a Rhodes scholarship to study at Oxford University after which he returned to lead the New York Knicks during their glory days in the late sixties and early seventies. "Dollar Bill" became a United States Senator for New Jersey and today, is a highly sought after investment banker. His drive for perfection on the court and in business makes him the perfect role model for aspiring athletes and businessmen alike. As my dad puts it, Bradley has successfully combined his two passions: “Benjamins & basketball”.

My dad would know, as he is a true basketball fanatic. When I was a little girl he enrolled me on an all boys basketball team for two seasons. I think he only did this so he could be a coach. He also started calling me "Jay". I think he did that because secretly, he'd wished I were a boy. Who am I kidding...it was never a secret...he made it very clear.

We would bicker terribly in the morning before practice, as I was crimping my side ponytail and trying to turn my atrocious team uniform into couture. Around this time, I also developed a loathing for "performance" sneakers. Come on, who cares what your footwork is like if you don't look good doing it? To this day when I hear a whistle blow I have flashbacks of endless dribbling drills, three point lines and concern over my visible training bra straps. Strike that...concern over the fact I was the only one wearing a training bra. (Oh, to be ten again!)
“Nothin but net”, he’d yell out at our practices. Oh, Dad...fifteen years later and he’s still..."Baaaaall in!”

While most red carpet reporters ask the standard questions, I have a decidedly different approach and decided to call my basketball history into play. As a result, I had a particularly fabulous interview with Senator Bradley. The Hall of Fame Inductee and basketball legend turned political icon was briskly walking the red carpet trying not to stop at any reporter too long. I caught him off guard by jumping in front of him with the swiftness of a power forward on offense and said: "My Dad is a big basketball fan and he's so excited I'm interviewing you! So Senator, how would you rate the honor you’re receiving tonight - nothing but net from the three point line?" He immediately stopped and thought for a moment, and said, "How would I rate the honor?" He then smiled and said, "SWISH!!"

I was speaking Senator Bradley's language and thanks to my former "coach", our red carpet interview was an "alley-oop". Some things never change. In a way, I'm still that ten year old hot mess, bra straps and all, only this time around my court is the red carpet, my uniform is couture, I've traded in my sneaks for stilettos and my "slam dunk" is now a slammin' sound bite. You may call it full circle, but I’m calling it nothin’ but net.

Follow me on Twitter!

2009-08-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends! Follow my tweets at @JamieLynnDrohan and I will follow you back! XOXO

Jamie Lynn Drohan Anchor/Reporter/Producer

2009-08-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

Jamie Lynn Drohan Demo Reel 2009

2009-08-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

Hello, my fellow blogger friends =)

I apologize for not posting more often, but I have been busy working....I'm hosting as fast as I can ;)

Please check out my brand new demo reel below and let me know what you think!

Thank you! =)

Mr. Mickey, Senor Mickadius, Mickolini

2009-07-28T18:38:00.001-07:00

Mr. Mickey, Senor Mickadius, Mickolini... he was a feline of many nicknames. We are mourning the loss of our dear friend Mr. Mickey today at the Drohan compound. We said our goodbyes this afternoon after 14 years. All five of us were present and we held him close in our arms. Now we hold him safe in our hearts. We gave him a great life and he gave us one right back...See you in my dreams buddy...

The Rainbow Bridge

2009-07-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author Anonymous

Behind the Scenes...Lynn Doyle

2009-07-27T11:29:00.001-07:00

Check out the three links below to view my behind the scenes interview with nine time emmy recipient, Lynn Doyle!

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

Another Day...Another Red Carpet...

2009-07-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Check out a piece I hosted and produced for Comcast's Red Carpet Show airing on CNN Headline News and Comcast ON DEMAND.

That's Where You'll Find Me....

2009-06-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

By far, my favorite version...enjoy!

In Need of Repair...

2009-06-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

Whenever I find myself in need of a mental transmission tune-up, (about every three months or so), I take refuge in the song below. After listening, go do something nice for someone else. I promise you, you'll feel better =)

Charity is Glamorous...

2009-06-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Below is a Red Carpet I hosted and produced airing on CNN Headline News and on Comcast ON DEMAND.

"City Year unites young people of all backgrounds for a year of full-time service, giving them the skills and opportunities to change the world. As tutors, mentors and role models, these young leaders make a difference in the lives of children, and transform schools and neighborhoods in 18 U.S. locations and Johannesburg, South Africa. Just as important, during their year of service corps members develop civic leadership skills they can use throughout a lifetime of community service. Major corporations and businesses participate in our mission by serving as strategic partners, team sponsors, and national leadership sponsors. Together we’re building a citizen service movement that is larger than our organization, our lifetime, and ourselves."

http://www.cityyear.org/default_ektid13307.aspx

What I've Done...

2009-05-28T04:48:00.000-07:00

Hello Lovers.....

Below is the latest project I've created. I edited a piece for my brother, Connor, for his Senior Project at Westfield High School. He is now immortalized and he loves it. I'm a good big sister ;)

Hope you like it, too!

Connor Drohan Westfield High School Senior Project from jdrohan1982 on Vimeo.

Connor Drohan Senior Project Westfield, NJ

Director/Executive Producer & Writer: Connor Drohan

Editors: Jamie Lynn Drohan & Ruben Rodriguez

Camera: Ruben Rodriguez

Jaywalking with Jamie Lynn Drohan

2009-05-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

From the Red Carpet

2009-05-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Down the Shore Everything's All Right...

2009-05-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

Which New Jersey Hall of Famer rocks the Jersey Girl song the best....

YOU DECIDE!!

What Would Tally Atwater Do?

2009-04-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I officially have my own column in the fabulous HQ Magazine distributed here in New Jersey. The column is titled:

"Is This Thing On? My Life as a TV HOST".

Naturally, this is a writers dream to have a column chronicle their career. I am officially no longer a blogger, but a COLUMNIST with a two page spread! I know, I know...I'm full of butterflies!

As my psychic friend, Linda Lauren (http://lindalauren.blogspot.com) says, "the excitement mounts"....and whilst that mound grows taller, my first looming deadline begins to shrink. My column must combine an interview with a fabulous person, as well as a connection to a funny family story that somehow relates.

Fabulous person, fabulous person....let's see...I am covering the red carpet for the NJ Hall of Fame this weekend. Apparently Bon Jovi is being inducted and hopefully will walk the runway in my direction. That would be a great interview.

Shaquille O'Neal is also being inducted and I would really enjoy speaking with him, as well. My dad is a basketball fanatic and when I was a little girl he enrolled me on an all boys basketball team for two seasons. I think he only did this so he could be a coach. He also started calling me "Jay". I think he did that because secretly, he'd wished I were a boy. Who am I kidding...it was never on the DL...he made it very clear.

We would bicker terribly in the morning before practice, as I was crimping my side ponytail and trying to turn my atrocious team uniform into couture. Ultimately, I was a hot mess. To this day when I hear a whistle blow I have flashbacks of endless dribbling drills, three point lines and concern over my visible training bra straps. Scratch that...concern over the fact I was the only one wearing a training bra. Oh, to be ten again!

This didn't seem to phase my father one bit. "Shut your face...nothing but net", he would say. Oh, Dad...fifteen years later and he's still, "Baaaall-in'".

And the intelligent specimen I am, I've learned to speak his language. My Dad has quite the history of "foot in mouth in public", (FIMIP), syndrome. Today when Dad seems to be teatering on another episode of "FIMIP" we keep his feet firmly planted on the ground by saying, "traveling" and give the signal just like a basketball referee. He immediately responds, in turn, by refraining from embarassing comments in front of friends and strangers alike.

You may call it behavior modification....I call it...Brilliant...

This is the Show that Doesn't End....

2009-04-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

Here are two clips from a show I host/produce in Westfield. Enjoy!

You're Gonna Find Yourself Somewhere, Somehow...

2009-04-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Up Close and Personal...

2009-04-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Any time I need to add a spring to my stiletto, I think of Tally Atwater and watch Up Close and Personal....it's the first time I saw the romance in journalism...

And when I need a REAL pick-me-up....I call for my reinforcements below and we Paint the Town Jersey....

Good Times with Good Friends...

This is my friend Terron....he always tells the truth and makes me feel pretty...

This is my friend Paul....he's a graphic designer in NYC...uber-talented and sexy in that artsy, eclectic way...

I see the world through rose colored glasses after a pretty cocktail with pretty people...

We're Off to See the Wizard...

2009-04-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I totally have an appropriate excuse as to why I've been MIA-DOA on the blogspot lately....I've been LIVING MY LIFE!

...And, I totally recommend you do so immediatley....with a handsome man, naturally...

Here are some photos of my travels below:

BIG HUG!

Me and my Man Friend were at a diner in Jersey and after we finished our Friday brunch, we hopped in the car and drove to Kennebunkport, Maine!

After the five hour drive we explored the beach!

And of course we tried the fabulous local grub...

Forget what your parents told you....play with your food...it's fun!

There's always room for Vodka!

Man friend helped me devour that bad boy!

A five hour drive home means time for 5 Hour Energy!

And it's Teepy Time for the blogger:

The lesson from today's blog is:

Live Your Life and Knock Yourself Out! =)

For Shits and Giggles....

2009-03-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Some of my interviews from "The Knowing"...

The Knowing...

2009-03-18T06:26:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to pull out my vision board and make some additions. For those of you who do not have a vision board, I suggest you create one immediately. Not only is it a fun project, but each time you view your creation you'll be filled with positive energy and encouragement.

Have you ever stopped a moment to review your immediate circumstances and realized you are exactly where you're supposed to be? When I look at my vision board I get the same confirmation. I have various images and texts ranging from women in power, the best of NYC, hottest interviews, coast to coast locales, etc.

Looking back on my five year journey through television, I can see people truly have come into my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Usually a fledgling reporter will begin his/her journey through the world of fluff. Sugar-coated, cavity-inducing news that most respectable journalists consider embarrassing, however, necessary to earn your stripes. The paychecks are laughable, if existent.

I, as usual, went against what is mainstream and commonplace. Maybe it's the Aquarius in me, but I find little to learn from roads well traveled. This just in: The "Waterbearer" is indeed a salmon swimming upstream. Rather than beginning my career "in the fluff", I got my start in politics. Talk about a fish out of water...New Jersey politics, to boot!

The 15th interview of my career took place in a small bookstore in Union, NJ. I had the honor of an exclusive interview with Governor McGreevey during his most scandalous of hours. Despite the rioters outside, we discussed his book and he answered my questions with patience and kind eyes. I should have been head over stilettos about the fact that this was the first time I'd interviewed a Governor, however, the notion was overshadowed by the news that I'd managed to finagle my interview right after Oprah and before Lynn Doyle!

Today, I look at what I've accomplished and I'm proud to say I'm not just a talking head. As a Director of Operations in Westfield I not only get the chance to mold the look and content of an entire station, I also get the chance to test my guts and intuition on the regular. I can confirm, without hesitation, what I am learning each day will bring me that much closer to my ultimate goal: World Domination...

LOL - no just kidding! But, no doubt, I do intend on monopolizing some air time on Fox5. It's my favorite network and my ultimate goal. One morning you will wake up and I will be hosting Good Day New York. Probably my favorite morning news broadcast of all time. I like the morning news because it's got a breeziness the evening news doesn't. It's perfect for me....I'm consumed...

Hey Child, Up and Go....

2009-03-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

A little sumthin', sumthin' to inspire my creative friends on this fine day.....

Kiss Me, I'm Irish...

2009-03-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

All me best friends are leprechauns...in fact, many of them are family.

The Holiday calls for the blogging of a traditional Gaelic blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to my favorite pint drinkin', rosy cheeked, freckle faced, porcelain skinned, claddagh wearing, clover pickin', magically delicious, spitfires!

In celebration, I'll be watching, "Far and Away"......gotta love the Brogue!

One of the best songs:

Puttin' On The Ritz....

2009-03-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

The hallway of the Ritz Carlton was buzzing with energy. Three journalists sat in a row along a wall papered with what appeared to be, expensive felt. A bus boy with kind eyes made his way towards the door labeled, "Nicolas Cage". He pushed a cart with four cups of coffee and scones. Upon approaching the door he turned to a woman wearing a headset circa Madonna's "Re-Invention Tour". For shits and giggles, we'll refer to her as, "The Handler".

At this point, I uncrossed my legs and glanced at the reporter next to me. She gave me a nervous smile. It was clear to me this young woman didn't have a psychic medium, which, in turn, meant she wasn't in possession of a positive energy crystal. I reached down to grab my ginormous purse and began digging around inside for my little friend. Finally, my fingertips met the satin, Asian inspired pouch and I pulled out the crystal for some positive reinforcement.

Crystal in hand, I glanced down at my five inch, hidden platform, grey stilettos for comfort. I then took notice of the reporter's fabulous, suede, black booties. Instantly, I knew I liked her. I felt the need to start conversation with her, in the hopes of breaking the blanket of nerves that encompassed the felt hallway. "I love your booties", I said, to which she replied, "I got them for fifteen dollars at TJMaxx". A girl after my own heart. She smiled and, almost immediately, I noticed the tension leave her shoulders.

The next thing I knew, "The Handler" was calling my name and I gracefully, (ha), tugged at my pencil skirt before entering the room. I told "The Handler" the network in which I represent, (this almost posed an issue as I don't really represent TUN and the call letters escaped me for a moment). Old Reliable I am, I pulled it together, or out my a$$ as I like to say, and entered the hotel room.

It was dark and quiet, unlike the rooms of leading lady, Rose Byrne and director, Alex Proyas. The energy was calm and reserved. As I turned the corner the lights were bright, the movie poster framed and Nicolas Cage was sitting opposite an empty directors chair.

Even though he was seated, I could tell he was a tall man, at least 6'3. I'd only been at the press junket three hours...he'd arrived three hours before me. I'm sure he was exhausted after six hours of questioning from a variety of reporters, yet, he looked refreshed and at ease. Perhaps his psychic medium provided him a crystal, as well?

As soon as I shook his hand and introduced myself I knew I'd stilletto'd upon entirely foreign territory. Accustomed to interviewing many a politician, this Jersey Girl was happy to learn she didn't have to fight to get a word in. Mr. Cage answered each of my questions and he was generous with his time.

When the producer gave me the "wrap it up" signal I smiled, said thank you and wished him a great day. He replied, "Cheers".

And that's exactly what I did...after calling for reinforcements....

I promptly headed to the hotel lobby to paint the town Jersey with my favorite producer, Mary, where we discussed the dirty details over even dirtier, and REALLY EXPENSIVE martinis....

Cheers to you, Mr. Cage!

I'm Gonna Come Out the Blog and Kick Yo' Ass...

2009-03-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

Painting the Town Jersey....

2009-03-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

To love me is to know me and to know me is to know I'm a "Foxy" kinda Lady....FOX5, that is. My alias is Blanche DeVeraux and my sister is Sharon Stone. We change our names because it's funny and more often than not, we speak in German slang...and by we, I'm referring to me and meine udder schwester.

Born and raised in the Garden State, Blanche and Sharon can do more than spot a ferocious Jersey tomatoe when they see one. You can usually find us just across the river painting the town Jersey at our favorite Parisian haunt, Pastis.

My Partner in Fabulous is now on a plane to of all places....MICHIGAN. She is traveling with our Dad....we call him Rusty. I realize the only decent thing that ever came out of Michigan is our Lady of Pop...Madonna. It's a True Blue day...I Dressed Her Up in My Love....and told her to Express Yourself, Don't Repress Yourself....and to consider this trip a Holiday....and while she's mid-flight, I advised her to make a wish on a Lucky Star....and told her to Open Her Heart to the opportunities that await....I advised Rusty, Papa Don't Preach...Jersey Used to be Her Playground...now it's Her Against the Michigan...our Material Girl is all Vogued up in the Wolverine State...the simple folk there are sure to wonder, "Who's That Girl"?

Ladies and Gentlemen.....Bruce Springstein...

You know she thrills me with all her charms

When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms

My little girl gives me everything

I know that some day she'll wear my ring

So don't bother me man i ain't got no time

I'm on my way to see that girl of mine

`cause nothing matters in this whole wide world

When you're in love with a jersey girl

Waiter, Can I Get a Doggy Bag? I'm Going to My Safe Place...

2009-03-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

When you first fall head over stilettos, every experience with your new beau produces an adrenaline rush or gush, in my case. No doubt, after the first few months my punch drunk love buzz wears off and is inevitably replaced with a sobering routine. Whether it's maturity, the guy, or the astrological influences is yet to be determined. I am happy to report there is nothing sobering about routine with the right man, of course.

My Man Friend and I were up to our usual antics last night, bickering and giggling over raw fish, sticky rice and stiff cocktails at one our of favorite local haunts. Everything was going according to plan, or routine, until it hit me. Man Friend and I were deep in debate over his fabulous empanada recipe and who'd be the sous chef this weekend. He was threatening me with the job of garlic mincing and I was fighting him tooth and french manicured nail. To preface this, I once mistook a meat cleaver for a garlic mincer, so clearly, I should not have access to sharp objects. Somewhere before the point he agreed to stop bossing me around in the kitchen or after I told him I'd pull a "Rhianna" on his ass if he didn't slow his role, I realized how I much I adored this man.

Have you ever seen a movie where the movement is in slow motion and the entire shot is out of focus except for the character's face? I was mesmerized by the smile of his eyes. Before I knew it the slow motion reverted to a fast forward and I could see my life with this smart, funny, handsome man. Never before have I felt secure enough to visualize a real future, a family with another person. Now I understand the cliche', "When you know, you know".

You've heard the phrase "I'm going to my safe place"....well my "safe place" is not any "place" in particular and there are no directions or maps to follow. According to http://www.about.com/, a safe place, "...gives you warm fuzzies...put yourself in this picture and imagine what you would hear, smell, see, feel....do this as often as possible...".

My "safe place" is a pretty exclusive restaurant with reservations for two. I hear his smile, I smell his sarcasm, I see his heart and I feel his scruff...I give it five stars...he's delicious...

Where Have the Ladies Gone?

2009-02-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

Where have all the ladies gone? Those who know me know I love to stir the pot like any good fashionista. I am just as busy as any other 20 something juggling multiple jobs and a shoe obsession, but to be clear, I always manage to put on my clothes before leaving the house, let alone taping a television show. When did it become mainstream for lady lumps to be placed on display like accessories? You know what I'm talking about; it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "boob tube".

Until recently, I was blissfully ignorant to the notion that it's totally trendy to put on a show with your "accessories" while actually, well, putting on a show. I was recently held visually captive by a television program hosted by a 20 something woman like myself, but here's the kicker - she was in hot pants delivering a report. I'm not sure what the topic was, I was too busy trying to figure out what message she was aiming to send with her attire. I have but one question for her: "Why are you hurting your own kind?"

Vivienne Westwood once said, "You have a better life if you wear impressive clothes". Will someone please explain to me what type of impression hot pants are supposed to leave us with?

I will say this only once for all the hard working ladies I know both in front and behind the camera: "Be fabulously professional and cover it up, Cookie!" We ladies are working too hard to be set back by your "talent", or lack thereof. We are in the business of television news and entertainment. Perhaps you are better suited for an adult industry? No shame there - just please, own it and move it...to Silicon Valley. And that's how the cookie crumbled. Good night and good luck ;)

25 Randoms Things About Moi.......

2009-02-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

1. I have a really hard time understanding people with accents but on a cute guy I think its ferocious

2. Sometimes that also applies to those without accents.

3. I like to bite the ends off twizzlers and use them as straws.

4. The longer my hair gets the longer it takes to get ready in the morning - once a day I consider wigging it.

5. I have an obsession with sunglasses and never go anywhere without a large pair.

6. I bite my lips and have probably consumed pounds of lipgloss.

7. I will only wear shoes with 4 inch heels or higher.

8. Because of #7, I can always fall back on pole dancing if I ever get bored with television.

9. I LOVE stargazer lillies

10. I can't go anywhere without my carbon black masacara and cherry lipgloss.

11. I love being a Jersey girl

12. I love listening to and helping people tell their stories

13. I totally talk to myself all the time

14. My attention span is MIA/DOA so I love that my job is never the same

15. I always get a little weirded out when people recognize me from tv

16. My friends are the best people on earth and are super understanding of my schedule and I love them for that

17. I want to have at least two kids

18. When I give birth I want to get my hair blown out before going to the hospital and I'm going to wear some fabulous shoes so the first thing the baby sees upon entering the world is good fashion sense

19. I have always had this plan that I would be married and have at least one child by the age of 30.

20. I can't wait to turn 30 cuz then I feel I will be more legitimate and have more substance. Politicians don't take 20 somethings that seriously but I'm doing my part to motivate the masses ;)

21. I am supposed to be taping my intros outros downtown right now but instead I'm on facebook =P

22. I am totally in love with a great guy

23. I'm working on my shopping and spending habits but just like I support homeless animals, I feel fabulous shoes need a forever home too

24. I'm a sucker for babies with biscuit legs

25. I only do a french manicure on my nails cuz I think red is way tacky

Boobtubalicious....

2009-02-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

So don't be jealous, but my Boyfriend, or Man Friend as I like to say, is a huge television director/producer/writer. Yes, that's correct. Not only is he a consumer of Tiffany's and fully aware of who Christian Louboutain is and why he's amazing - my Man Friend is also a successful entertainment mogul. One of the television programs he created and oversees is called E-Asylum. If you love interviews with major celebs than this, my loyal reader, is your new dirty obsession. Cross my stilettos and hope to die. I'm not going to lie, it's a phenomenal production and I insist you go to this site immediately, become a fan and be consumed.....kiss,kiss....

http://www.youtube.com/user/EAsylum

www.mojogroup.tv

I Need My Meds...

2009-02-13T08:15:00.000-08:00

We can all relate to this....and by "we", I'm referring to me, myself and I.

Be consumed...kiss, kiss...

Cuppy Cake Boy...

2009-02-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

Warning: The video you are about to view is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. This kid appeared on Tyra Banks today and I just had to share the love...be consumed

PS - I love you so and I want you to know that I'll always be right here ;) Check out the eyebrows at the end, lol...

Kiss, kiss...Happy Valentine's Day...

I love this woman - and you should too...

2009-02-10T10:11:00.001-08:00

Chelsea Handler - my God, I love this woman. In fact, I feel such a connection, it's quite possible we are sisters from another mother. She's a smart, sexy wise-ass, born and raised in New Jersey - where else - AND she appreciates a phenomenal shoe...that's how we do here in the Garden State - check out the clips below and be consumed....

Kiss, Kiss

Spokeswoman...

2009-02-10T06:46:00.001-08:00

I bet you didn't know I'm a spokeswoman for a video internet service in New York City.....and no, not that kind of "service". I'm a lady, through and through...unless, of course, I can be garaunteed full anonymity....take a look at my peep show below:

Work Videos

2009-02-10T06:44:00.001-08:00

Doing what I do best....

Work Videos

2009-02-10T06:43:00.001-08:00

Work Videos

2009-02-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

Work Videos

2009-02-07T08:03:00.001-08:00

Don't Misunderestimate Me...

2009-02-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the tasks set before me at work. Sometimes. Oh, that's a lie. I'm fairly consistent with the panic. Today I am shooting a show with a Congressman in District Numero Sieben. My plan this weekend is to spend 15 hours in my office in front of an editing computer. I have five shows to edit before the weekend comes to a close, I need to get cracking on developing the look and content for a new show I'm hosting, "J.Walking with Jamie Lynn", (it's gonna be huge, you heard it here first), and I need a mani/pedi. What's a girl to do? At times like these, I find comfort in the wise words of great leaders gone ary. Now is the time to work my bottom off if I ever want to see my "wings take dream". "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

My sentiments exactly, Mr. President...

The Exclusive Interview...

2009-02-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

Maybe it’s just me, but I find the average bio about as exciting as a throat culture. So, I asked the best interviewer I know — me — to sit down for a little Q&A. The unedited transcript is below. (And let’s be honest here: I could have edited it to make myself seem all witty and well-adjusted, but I wanted to you to see the real me.)

Ms. Drohan, it’s so gracious of you to invite me to your lovely home. Would you like to begin by telling our readers where you’re from?
Sure, Jamie. By the way, I love your shoes. Are those hidden platforms? I have the same ones. Anyway, I was born in Livingston, NJ and raised in the Township of Union. I attended Union High School where I was incredibly bored and insanely underappreciated outside the theatre department. I remember wondering daily, “How come these people have no idea how freakin' fabulous I am?”

Hmmm. That sucks.
No worries, Princess. I joined facebook to reconnect and discovered that everyone felt bored and underappreciated. It’s called puberty.

And after high school?
I attended Wagner College on a Musical Theatre scholarship and after two years realized this wasn't the path for me. I landed a job hosting some shows in local television and I wanted more - more I tell you!

That path led you to Comcast and Westfield TV36 didn’t it?
Absolutely. I worked as a producer/editor/writer/host of Union TV34 and started making my own demos - sending them out to any Network Exec with a name and mailing address. Eventually, after six months of no word, I apparently broke down one Exec in particular and landed my first gig hosting Newsmakers on CNN Headline News. Through that position I was offered another gig hosting Eye On Ocean County in South Jersey on Channel 8 - all the while, still working for Union TV34. A few months later I heard of a job opening for Director of Operations in Westfield and decided there's always room for Jello - so I went for the job and I landed it. After six months of juggling four jobs I decided it was time to let one free and, loving my new position as Director, I decided to release Union TV34. Today I still host Eye on Ocean County and serve as Director of Operations for Westfield TV36. Did I also mention I'm a spokesperson?

For Overachievers Anonymous?
No, you jerk. I'm a spokesperson for VEOTAG in NYC. They help companies brand, catalog and market their services.

How many televisions shows have you done as of right now?
I have no freakin' idea - isn't that fabulous?!

You mentioned you were a musical theatre performer. Would you like to sing a little something right now?
You betcha. [Sings “Hopelessy Devoted to You” by Olivia Newton-John.]

That’s not a show tune.
[Sings “Seasons of Love” from Rent.]

Thank you. I get the idea.
I’m not finished yet. [Continues singing.] OK, now I’m done.

So, you turned your back on the theatre because you couldn't sing?
Are you trying to be funny? If nothing else, I’m a lady of my word. [Clasps hands around interviewer’s throat slightly tighter and slightly longer than necessary to make point.]

I might sue you for that.
Bite me.

What’s your sign, biatch?
I was born Janaury 20, 1982, under the sign of Aquarius. In fact, I’m a Aquarius with a Saggitarius rising, just like Jennifer Aniston - isn't that fabulous?

No, not really. Where do you get your clothes? Not that I care at this point. My neck hurts.
I get my clothes from lots of different places. I wear a lot of Michael Kors, Sweet Pea, Free People, True Religion. My favorite suits are by the Klein's, (Calvin and Anne). And I love shoes by Michael Kors, Jessica Simpson (girlfriend knows how to make a heel!) and Christian Louboutin.

How tall are you?
I’m five foot four.

And how much do you weigh?
110.

Liar. You weigh 120, J.Dro.
I know, but I could lose those ten pounds if I wanted to - I just happen to have a buxom bottom. And don’t contradict me or I'll choke you again. I hope I left a bruise.

I think you did. Now talk about your hobbies. That’s the next question on this list you gave me.
I didn’t give you any list. As you know, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to pursue my hobbies, but I enjoy reading, travel, fashion, cooking, kicking ass in Scrabble and playing with my rabbit, Mr. Hefner.

What television shows do you watch?
I’m addicted to reruns of SATC, anything TLC, and for some ridiculous reason, The Real World.

And my last question: Are you single?
I can’t believe you just asked me that. That’s not on the list.

I thought you said there was no list. I only asked because some people seem to care.
I don’t care why you asked. When will we stop slapping labels on people? “That guy’s gay.” “That girl’s a slut.” “That dog’s humping my leg.” If it doesn’t concern you, mind your own business.

OK, OK. Don’t get your balls in a tangle.
I don’t have balls. You think that because I run a television station and generally tell other people what to do all day, I have testicles? I think this interview is over.

Good. I’m going to see a doctor.
Well, this has been a pleasure. Please don’t let the French doors hit you on the way out.

Who is Jamie Lynn Drohan?

2009-01-29T11:06:00.001-08:00

Who is Jamie Lynn Drohan? She is multitudes and will speak of them in the third person.

It all began in Union, NJ when a three year old JLD attended her first dance class. The experience consumed her thoughts, interfering with her concentration on Rainbrow Brite and The California Raisins. Eventually weekly dance lessons parlayed into weekly voice lessons. She continued her dance and vocal training both in NJ and NYC and began to dabble in writing. She secured the crown of Little Miss Union at seven years old and decided it was time to become an author. At the age of nine, not only did she know Ms. Jackson's choreography by heart, but she also had her first piece of writing published in an anthology. Who knows if it was the leg warmers, the jazz hands or the vibrato, but needless to say, a star was born.

Today, JLD is an extraordinary ordinary 20 something femme fatale with her mind on her money and her money on her shoes. Often compared to Linda Carter, this sassy woman of wonder keeps her cover disguised as a televison maven calling the shots both on camera and behind the scenes. Jamie Lynn Drohan is Director of Operations for a local television station, a spokesperson for VEOTAG in NYC, can be seen on the tube interviewing iconic powerbrokers, blogs like its her fourth job and is a mildly obsessed fan of Mark McGrath (circa "I Just Wanna Fly").

In her spare time, (ha), she trades in her lasso of truth for a fabulous clutch and the gold wrist cuffs come off for an even hotter accessory: good friends. JLD likes her men like her coffee; dark and from South America. When asked for her advice on love she responds, " Love is a process and should be practiced often. Rinse and repeat until the desired outcome is reached."

This American in New Jersey enjoys her cocktails served on a stem and her stems secured on stilettos. May the road rise up to meet you, and may all your lights run green: Go E-ZPass.

Green Means Go...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.012-07:00

OK, so as you can see my blog, mirroring my life, is full of quirky stories....well folks, here's a doozy.....

This story takes place in the year 2000. Way back when lil' J.Dro first got her license and her new car, delivered right to the front door by the greatest, wisest, and most sarcastic father in the world; Dad.

So, I'm lovin' my shiny 2000 Corolla, with special order "roll-up" windows, (oh yea, ;) I fell right off the sarcastic tree), in the color of my request, champagne. =)

Things couldn't get any grander. Until, one day my father called me into the kitchen to tell me he'd recieved the EZ Pass he'd ordered me two weeks ago. I'm super excited, as summer is coming and I'll surely be hitting the shore with my pals packed as tightly as possible in my ride.

I say "thanks, Dad", and before I leave the room he says, "Wait, Jay, I need you to take a ride with me. See this is a special EZ Pass, it's voice activated. This way, no one can steal your car or make it through any tolls because the car will shut down."

Well, let me tell you I thought he was the shit.....and then he says, "Only the best for my little girl."

"Aw", I thought to myself, isn't he the best!? So Dad and I proceed down the Parkway as he instructed and once I reached the first toll, he told me I had to lean forward really close to the EZ Pass box and say loud and clear in my firmest tone, "GO EZ PASS!"

So I did.

And what do you know, the light on the left lit up green saying "EZ Pass Paid". "Wow", I thought, this is awesome; none of my friends have this!

Now I'm sure you're sitting there thinking once we got home my Dad burst out laughing and confessed his practical joke?

Didn't happen. The man walked right back into the house with me and never uttered another word of the EZ Pass.

Three months pass by and .....yes three months time, and in that three months I'd probably hauled ten loads of friends down the shore, stopping at each EZ Pass and then explaining to the "lay" passengers in my car of my father's high tech purchase.

This terrible train wreck came to an embarassing hault the day I took my then boyfriend, Brian, down the shore. As usual, I'd approached the first toll and commanded, "Go EZ Pass". And as usual, the light turned green.

Brian turned to me and said, "Jamie, what the hell are you doing?" I turned to him in my snootiest tone and proclaimed, Listen, Brian, this is the special EZ Pass. It's voice activated and really expensive. No one can steal my car because it will shut down on a stranger's voice. My Dad only buys the best."

Brian, trying to contain his laughter, turns back to me and says, "Jamie, my father just got EZ Pass yesterday and there is no such thing as voice activation. I think your Dad is messing with you. I'll bet you money and the AAA bill, that when you get to the next toll, you drive through without saying a word and the light will still turn green and your car will not shut down on you. "

OK, so I'm scared out of my mind, but pissed that this boy would DARE question my Father, so of course I take the challenge and warn him that, "..my dad is going to be so pissed at you when the car shuts down..."

So, we approach the next toll and my heart is racing. There's no doubt in my mind that father is always right and could never possibly concieve him sending me out into the world looking like such and IDIOT for THREE months!!!!!!

I'm next up at the toll, and I slowly creep my car through, restraining the urge to command the EZ Pass.

What happened? NOTHING....I went right through the EZ Pass and the light turned green and my face turned BRIGHT RED!

I got home that night at 11pm and stormed upstairs to my parents room where I knew my father was sleeping.

I barged in and in my harshest tone said, "Dad......Go EZ Pass, huh?!?!"

My Dad sat straight up in bed, hair parted every which way as it usually is when's he's been sleeping, and says, "You just figured that out now? Jesus, Jamie!"

My father is now known and respected by every male friend I have and the EZ Pass story has been told time and again in his honor at house parties and keggers alike. Cheers, Dad.

I See Dumb People...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.011-07:00

So, my sister, Kelly, and her best friend, Chris, head out to see a sneak preview of some movie; I don't recall the name. They come back to the house afterwards and sit down in the kitchen with me.

I ask, "How was the movie?".

Kelly replies, "It was great, I'm dying to see the end."

(Chris and I exchange confused looks and I probe the topic further...)

"What do you mean, Kelly? Didn't you stay for the entire movie?", I ask.

"Yea, but it was only the sneak preview. They don't show the whole movie otherwise everyone will know the ending."

At this point, I think I peed myself a little......

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Back to Jersey....

2008-09-17T15:28:00.010-07:00

So, I'm circling the same city block for the 10th time with Bethany in the passenger seat. We're on the lookout for our sorority sisters, who said they would be meeting us at this specific corner. Mind you, it's a blizzard out and I'm stoked to be using the four wheel drive on my new Jeep Grand Cherokee. While driving, I'm careful to avoid hitting any members of the snowball fights that have broken out, randomly, in the middle of the streets.

Finally, after the 15th lap, Bethany informs me of the desperate urinary situation of which she's placed on hold for the past half hour. Because nothing at the moment is visible, I pulled onto a side street and flipped my hazards on as Bethany informs me she'll be relieving herself somewhere in the outdoor vicinity.

Did I mention the inebriation levels are skyrocketing for everyone involved in this story, BUT ME!?!? Consider this your notice.

So I lose site of Bethany entirely until some asshole with blinding headlights begins driving up the road behind me. As the car approaches I look to my right and realize Bethany has chosen the conveniently exposed stoop of a brownstone on which to release her bladder. I was so proud...but now was not the time to praise; I rolled down the window and told Bethany to get her ass back in the car.

Thankfully, the eleviated bladder pressure must have sobered her up some, because I didn't need to scream twice for her to pull up her pants and hop the hell back in the Jeep. Finally, I get a call on my cell from Gabby, one of the two sisters we've been searching for, and she informs me they are on the corner of such and such a street. So I respond by saying, " Don't Move! Look out for a silver Jeep, I'll be there in 2 minutes."

I pull up to the corner and both Bethany and I spot Gabby and Keira on the corner, but for some reason they're walking away from my car.....?? I watch them in my rear view and see them hop into a silver Jeep Grand Cherokee DIRECTLY BEHIND ME!

Before I can tell Bethany what I just witnessed, Gabby and Keira FLY out of the Jeep behind me and head for the correct one. Gabby is the first to enter the backseat of my Jeep and she looks shocked and completely disconnected from who and where she is.

As she proceeds to tell me and Bethany that they had hopped into a silver Jeep packed with strangers and how she thought Bethany and I had been carjacked, Keira is entering the backseat directly behind Gabby. But before she can get inside the Jeep, she's nailed in the head by a snowball from another random fight that's broken out in the street!

And I'm watching all of this, completely sober and trying to record with my eyes the expressions on each of their tipsy little faces, and I laughed inside all the way home to Jersey...

The birth of the compound swear....

2008-09-17T15:28:00.009-07:00

So, Stacy and I are returning from a bagel run....the almighty rite bestowed upon the lowly pledge to feed your Sisters......and we're late, as usual. "Consequences for sure", I'm thinking as Stacy ties her shoe and puts down the plastic bag jammed with a variety of toasted bagels and toppings wafting through the nippy city air with such potency it reminds me of my mom's kitchen. As she's tying her shoelace she begins bitching at me because, of course, this is all my fault, as it is whenever anything goes wrong.

As much as I endure..I mean..enjoy...her pep talks, I am, at this moment, distracted. Underneath a beat up '87 Buick is, what appears to be, a stray cat. My heart immediately reaches out, as does my hand. I'm a sucker for a stray animal and with the onset of the chilly weather and the drunks returning from a college bar night, I suspected the little guy wouldn't have a chance here in the bottom tier parking lot.

As I knelt down to execute my perfected, "Ssp, Ssp, Ssp", from years of owning cats, I am terrified to see foamy, pointed teeth emerge from underneath the bumper of the car. I immediately gasp and Stacy, underterred by my lack of attention and still speaking of my "weakest link" tendencies, stops for a moment and with that; The Emergence of the Raccoon.

Yes, a giant, growling raccoon, foaming at the mouth, emerged from under the '87 Buick with one thing on his mind: THE BAGELS! I, of course doing the only thing a proper Jersey girl can do when presented with such a situation, screamed, abandoning Stacy and ran up the hill to the second tier parking lot; on my toes, of course, as to not incur any unnecessary dirt on my Guess sneakers. Stacy, in an Olympic effort last seen in the Roman era, forged onward swiftly grabbing the Bag O'Bagels and tucking it under her arm like a football. Simultaneously, she began running down the bottom tier parking lot, Raccoon in toe, all the while screaming, "Son-of-a-bitch-pig-bastard-ass-slut"!

I wasn't sure if this was directed at myself for bailing or the rabid raccoon, but we hopped into the college security van and no one spoke a word other than to request which dorm we'd be getting off at. And that my friends, was the birth of the compound swear...

You Can't Make This Stuff Up...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.008-07:00

Ok, so what is it about traveling from Jersey to NYC that my friend Jamie and I find so difficult? We're on our way to the C-Note to see the musical stylings of the lovely and uber-talented Karen Schleifer and before we even reach the Holland Tunnel, it begins. Traffic for about 45 minutes; ok, we can handle this. Finally WE MAKE IT into the city. I would have known had Jamie blindfolded me and belted me in the trunk; the smell of the air is like opium for any of my harbored stresses. Once in Alphabet City, we realize there is NO PARKING anywhere to be found; and only did we realize this until after scouting the street for an hour.

Finally, we decide to cop out and fork out the cash for a garage, but to our delight we learn there are no garages in the vicinity. Enter stage right: onslaught of the bladder. We're at a red light at the intersection of Avenue B and 12th and Jamie, after squirming for the past 45 minutes, can withstand it no longer! "Jam, take that wheel!" And, assuming she was asking me to drive so she may sit in the passenger seat and concentrate on NOT peeing on herself, I exit the passenger side and the next thing I see is Jamie squealing down Avenue B something along the lines of, "I'm gonna find a bathroom, I'll call your cell!"

OK...light is still red. I immediately slam the passenger door shut, run to the driver door, already ajar, and steal a glance to see the occupants in the vehicle directly behind me hysterical...glad someone was having fun. I hopped in the car and slammed the door shut. Just as the light turned green and I'd finished adjusting her seat, which, by the way, had been set to size just in case a five year old might want to take the wheel, and began scouting for spots while awaiting her relieved and rejuvinated phone call for pickup. Five minutes later I picked Jamie up from the scene of the original abandoment and we finally found a spot about 16 blocks away from the C-Note. Not to fear as Jamie, an expert cab-hailer, was already on her game with one hand in the air while exiting the car. Ah, but to no avail...we proceeded to the corner where we were sure to find a cab or a BIKE for that matter. Yes, while standing on the edge of the curb watching my friend work her magic, a french man on a bicycle with a carriage attached to the back pulls up and ...... yes, a french man on a bicycle with a carriage attached to the back, no need to backtrack - I'd presumed your confusion....asks me where I am going and then proceeds to tell me in his french accent that he is the best bicyclist in NYC and he will take us uptown, downtown, whereever we'd like AND he added, "It will be fun!"

Still in my state of shock and speechlessness I realize that Mr. Bicycle is now blocking my 4'10 Jamie from being seen by anything, let alone a cabbie. We graciously decline his offer and walk further down the street, so as Jamie can be seen better by oncoming traffic, and finally, finally, hop into a cab. Once we exit the cab I give him a 50% tip for rescuing us from Mr. Bicycle and we're on our way to the C-Note. One problem, the usual blue banner depicting the logo is nowhere in sight and we are now confused and 40 minutes into Karen's one hour set. We spot a bar on the corner across the street with a red, lighted "C" and presume this MUST be the C-Note; maybe they're over the blue flag or it was too "Blue Note", who the hell knows. Anyway, we walk up to the bar and as Jamie is entering I catch a glimpse of the chalkboard sign located next to the steps. "Welcome to the Clubhouse" I read as Jamie stopped dead in her tracks.

We again cross the street and stopped exactly where our yellow knight, the cabbie, had dropped us off. We stand there pondering the location of the C-Note and, ever so faintly, I can hear her. We turn to look at the bar of which our backs have been turned and realize, with a simultaneous release of frustration and relief, Karen was inside. I asked a gentlemen near the door, taking a pull on a Red, how long she'd been singing. "She already finished her set, but she's up again for an encore", he replied. And with a sigh of relief, Jamie and I entered the C-Note and enjoyed our first, and Karen's last, song of the night....

Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi....

2008-09-17T15:28:00.007-07:00

Even in the healthiest of relationships is there any way to prepare yourself for the unexpected threesomes that can arise? Even if you're the only two people in the bed, there's always someone who's been there before you. And though the boxer briefs of past loves may not be hidden under the pillow, what traces do they leave behind and how does this effect your current partner?

What can we learn from our past loves? I have a tendency to remain tight with former flames; not for the sake of keeping the door cracked in case I want to have another go, but because I have a connection with them on numerous levels. The more I learn about them the more I learn about myself. This subject can be a difficult issue to broach with a current lover. How do you find a balance...is there ever a happy medium?

Is it pretty much a given that your new lover will be allergic to loves of the past? I have a tendency to detach myself from a situation and see it from the outside in. I love being able to view things objectively and devoid of emotion, making decisions based on logic. Unfortunately, I'm learning my fancy schmancy skill isn't cutting it in the love department....spill on isle 7....Blanche broke another heart...

It always starts with the same song and dance: "I know you know my boyfriend is out of town, so have a drink let's talk it over...so many things I shouldn't be saying now, you know I like my boys a little bit older". Even when both parties enter a situation with the best of intentions, one can walk away feeling like their love has been used. I ask you...is there any way to prevent this?

And what about that guy that you always come back to in between the serious relationships? Oh my bad, is that just me? There is a man who I'll refer to as Mr. In Between - he's not a rebound because I never let him get that serious, but he does provide me a boost now and again to get me back in the swing of things when necessary. He calls me his stray cat because I show up without warning and I'm always gone by sunrise.

Why not so serious about Mr. In Between? For starters he isnt what I'm ultimately looking for. But I ask you...it is healthy to have such a buddy...one who knows you inside out and upside down. It worked in the past, but I'm starting to reconsider that notion these days. We're all getting a bit older, a bit wiser and my Mr. In Between, once satisfied being the no strings attached kind of fellow is collecting all kinds of string and twine. After years of such on and off activity, is it time to trim off the loose and frayed ends? Before someone really gets hurt....

I’m Allergic....

2008-09-17T15:28:00.006-07:00

How do you know when it's for real? Like "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, where the hell have you been hiding my entire life" real? Stop, drop and roll people, my heart is officially aflame.

I know it's for real when I can relax - truly relax in the prescence of another. It's rare for me to let down my walls, release the bridges and call the alligators out of the moat for the chance to let someone in for an emotional rendevous. Who knows how long he'll stay and whether he's worth it to begin with.

In honor of girls chasing love all around the world, including you Jessica Simpson, "The real me is a Jersey Girl with her stilettos on and an open heart; wish I could save the world, like I was Captain Morgan..."

I know it's for real when I can say anything that flies out of my crazy ass, compound swearing, vocabulary conscious and grammatically correct, (might I add), mouth and know he'll be there to laugh or listen or, more importantly, catch me before I hit my head on the toilet seat during my homage to the porcelain gods. I want someone who can handle the sting, as at times my words have been known to bite...and then turn around and dish it back out. I'm in search of a man who can express his own thoughts, ideas and opinions as seamlessy as myself.

Are we looking for our equivalents or opposites?

According to the astrological chart my exact opposite sign as an Aquarius is a Leo. If opposites attract, does this make my opposite my equivalent? Aquarians are air signs represented by the Water Bearer. They seek to spread knowledge and truth, are often emotionally detached and objective and focus their efforts on the masses. Leos are fire signs represented by the Lion. They are passionate, outgoing and natural leaders, focusing their efforts on themselves. There are many differences, but as I look closer I see these differences could be complimentary in the right relationship. An interesting footnote: Air fuels Fire.

With my information in hand, I now set out in the world with the skill of an African Lion Poacher in search of my perfect prey. Don't worry, if you see me on the street it's just a tranquilizer gun - I want to catch him, not kill him.

We can research, prepare, lock and load all we want, but when it comes down to it....how do we know when it's for real? When he's the only one you hear in a crowded stadium? When he's the only one you see in a dimly lit club, and not just because there's a blacklight and he's graying a bit.

I know it's for real because an LP named Donna Marie told me so....I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry...you may kiss the rabbit....

Dame Un Beso...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.005-07:00

How can you tell if your first kiss with a new love is to be the last first kiss? I have a tendency to build mountains out of moments. I recognize the trend and embrace the disappointment that follows. My name is Blanche DuBois and I'm a serial monogamist.

I observe my friends as they pump the gas full throttle from first kiss to first kiss with the ease of a Honda coil spring and yet, I find myself suffering from a faulty engine. Am I in need of roadside assistance or am I extremely selective? Do I subconsciously reserve my first kisses for suitors I believe may indeed be the last first kiss?

Another question I pose tonight, upon consumption of my third glass of organic cabernet sauvignon, is do I subconsciously abort my relationships for fear the kisses that follow suit will never match the intensity and passion possessed by the first? Or perhaps I abort mission subconsciously knowing what I'm seeking won't be delivered.

When I was a little girl I imagined my last first kiss would be with a man who can make the first kiss of every day feel like the last of a lifetime. I hear you, I hear you, mountainous terrain ahead, lol. But I ask you...is that really too much to ask?

How am I to stop myself from raising the pedestal from moment to mountain? And is the White Knight I'd dreamt up as a child in fact, not white, but black and called Knight Rider?

"Keep your scanners peeled..."

Labels or Love...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.004-07:00

How long should you date a person before saying, "I love you"? I ask you not only in search of the appropriate time, but also the proper venue. Of course the goal of this confession is to have your partner welcome the sentiment with a reply of the same nature. Unfortunately, adverse effects sometimes result in a raise of the brow as they factor the quickest route to Home Depot seaking a new set of deadbolts for the apartment door.

I'm also perplexed by the notion that some of us can say, "I love you", before being capable or, furthermore, comfortable enough to recognize the beloved as a partner of any significance to begin with. Why do we stumble over our words when the conversation begins to stear itself down an emotional boardwalk? I'll be the first to admit I've experienced many a scraped shin due to my clumsy, brittle approach to communicating my feelings for another. As we live and learn, charting lover to lover, do these conversations ever get any easier?

I'm recently enchanted to discover not all partners warrant such margins on terms of endearment, regardless of the relationship's extent. I'm captivated by the revelation that an individual can actually command a reply; one in which you'd promised yourself you'd refrain from submitting at all costs.

Acknowledging the correlation between the length of courtship and expression of love to be defunct, let us now focus on the latter part of my opening query. I ask you...is there an appropriate place in which such sentiments should be conveyed? Perhaps my question is too broad to be answered...I'll try again. What places would you find such expressions to be entirely inappropriate? Or can the irony of a locale be the inspiration behind a declaration?

I ask you...can the fastening of two souls be as simple as tying your shoelaces? "Make two bunny ears...bunny goes around the tree...into the burrow...pull tight." I've discovered as of late, an expression of love is best served unforeseen, befalls even the most inappropriate of venues and, moreover, can swing a powerful knot around the unlikeliest of pairs.

Be Undercover, Love is Under the Covers...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.003-07:00

Are there rules to be followed when it comes to dating and courtship? If so, are these rules to be established by each individual couple or are they customary from partner to partner? And speaking of partner, what are we to make of the terms used in addressing said person? Partner, boyfriend/girlfriend, old man/lady, significant other, the guy/girl I'm dating/seeing and, my personal favorite, "talking to". What godforsaken creature starting using that phrase in reference to quixotic connections?

Another question I'd like to pose this evening is why the need for the labels? Why do we feel the need to display the rank of our relationships? Do we lack confidence or trust in our partners without such designations on tap for all to see? Is it simply a way to carve out our terrain and plant the flag - mission accomplished? I'm guessing we're all guilty of the need to assert our status with those we embrace dear to our hearts...and I suppose it's acceptable, so long as that embrace doesn't become a clench...

An interesting antic dote from the friends of wikipedia: "From the scientific point of view, courtship in the animal kingdom is the process in which the different species select their partners for reproduction purposes." Shocking. "Generally speaking, the male initiates the courtship and the female chooses to either mate or reject the male based on his "performance". I ask you...are we referring to a performance that is physical or emotional? And if the performance is not up to par is it rude to sneak out during intermission? I mean really, whether I'm front row orchestra or row W mezzanine, I usually know by the end of the first act if I'm feelin' it or I'm not...

This brings me to my next question...how do we know when our relationship has elevated to the next level of the beanstalk? How many echelons are there to climb and what is protocol as altitude increases? A perceptive lass named Baby once said, "I'm afraid of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you". At what level in the game is it acceptable for a man and woman to experience and declare these emotions? Emotions, which at times, can be draining. Where can I obtain those 1-ups for stamina? How do I prevent myself from falling into the lava? Is it worth it in the end? Mario and Luigi never did explain what happens after you save the Princess...

Finally...I can get pretty cranky if I don't eat every four hours...I ask you...is this beanstalk edible?

Stings Like a Bee...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.002-07:00

I ask you...why invite a person into your life romantically and allow them access to your world, your heart, knowing full well you're setting yourself up for a beatin'? A wise man once said, "It's not how many times you fall that matters, it's how many times you get back up". Well, I ask you, does this also apply to falling in love? How many times can one girl fall and how many breaks can one heart take? How many licks does it take before a gal loses her will to get up...and fall again? The world may never know...

Hurry Up and Wait...

2008-09-17T15:28:00.001-07:00

How do you celebrate the man who molded you into the idiosyncratic, wickedly smart-mouthed, rebel without a cause you are today? My Dad needs no introduction to those closest in my life, as through the years "Jack" has become "kind of a big deal" around these parts. And by "these parts" I'm referring to me, my sister, Sharon and my brother, Tommy. (Names have been changed because we think it's funny - and by "we" I'm referring to myself.)
The next question I would like to pose is one I doubt any of you will be able to answer. How does a child grow to possess the tendencies and mindset of one parent over another? Exactly when does this selection process begin and why? Being the first child, I was lucky enough to spend equal time with both Mom and Dad, as it's well documented in the "moving pictures" that comprise my childhood photo albums. I call these albums "moving pictures" because every breathe, step and regurgitation was documented in succession. Should you flip the pages quickly, it's like watching a movie.

My Dad instilled in me the work ethic of a certified accountant on April 15th, a sarcastic bite that could make Kathy Griffin blush and love for double stuffed oreos. But again, I ask you, how did this happen? My Mom is a fabulous lady with home-making skills equivalent to that of a ninja executing espionage. Yet, I try my hardest to identify like qualities I may have acquired and all I can come up with is compassion and a conscience. Perhaps I doubt the credence to which these traits should rate on the totem pole of morale code. My Mom is a woman of many layers and, perhaps, what I am to learn from her is meant to be discovered later in life.

As I write this with a swift hand and a full heart, I can declare one notion for sure. Mom possesses the ability to recognize, attain and retain a remarkable man for nearly 30 years. Hopefully, pray tell, she intends to teach her first born this essential lesson in love. Until that class opens up for the semester, I'll sharpen my pencil...hurry up...and wait....

Corazon Sin Nido

2008-09-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

Have you seen my instruction manual lying around anywhere? You know, the one you obtain after you penetrate the world and the nurse slaps a bracelet on your ankle reminiscent of the kind you receive upon entering a bad club at the Jersey Shore? Oh, my bad, that's right - there's no such thing! However, if you would be so kind as to entertain my folly this evening, let's explore the notion...

For starters, what would a piece of literature of this nature be titled? Knowing the sense of humor the Big Cheese seems to have with me lately, I'd have to say the title would likely be, "Knock Yourself Out".

Chapter One: Welcome
Please remain seated until the spaceship comes to a complete stop.

Chapter Two: Are We There Yet?
Life is a hallowed journey and should be traveled with good friends, good cocktails and fabulous shoes.

Chapter Three: Hearts Will Be Broken...and Yours is No Exception
Love is a process and should be practiced often. Rinse and repeat until the desired outcome is reached.

Chapter Four: Never Underestimate the Power of the Stiletto
The higher the heel the closer to heaven. Once of sauntering age, master your strut and embrace the pinch.

Chapter Five: The Spaceship Waits for No One
This in mind, say what you need to say. Do not overanalyze, do not scrutinze, do not disect. Whether you speak it, shout it, write it, sing it; let there be no doubts as to your sentiments.
I'd say those five chapters would comprise the instruction manual should one ever come to exist. And if I know my Buddy upstairs like I think I do, my edition.....would be written in Japanese.....Banzai!